http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hisuPqThbS8
I won't allow myself to be hurt anymore. People say "I can't help the way I feel" but they're wrong. They can choose to rise out of things. They can choose to be rigid and unyielding, or they can choose to be understanding.
And not deciding is still making a choice.
I have been with people who have only wanted sex. I have been with people who treated me like they were doing me a favor by making me their servant. I have been with people who tested me constantly for their own selfish egoistic reasons. I have been with people who refuse to see things from anyone else's perspectives. I've been with misanthropic, cynical, cold, shallow, jaded, spoiled people. I have been with people who try to prove that the world is a dystopic mess of souls that will never truly understand each other.
And I chose so many times to stay with them, and love them, and give them everything without a care for my own sanity. And I allowed them to tread all over me.
But no longer.
I am a lion, and too long have I lain among jackals.
I have a friend who is at once both lion and lamb, and she says that we choose to sacrifice ourselves, our hearts, our flesh, our minds. She advised me to choose better, and I have.
All the human love I have in this world is yours, Nicole. I love you more than I could ever love another person. You deserve all of my honesty and openness, my thoughts, my words. You alone deserve every chamber of my many times broken heart, because you are the only human who will never break it. You alone deserve the master key to every door in my labyrinthine mind, for you are the only one who respects every door and every room.
When you speak your words anoint me and raise me out of thorns and snapping jaws. Through my love for you, and yours for me, I feel like I can truly live a life that makes me happy.
You are a Lion, Nicole, and in my weakness, you have always protected me.
